COMPARING HOW BAD I FELT IN MY ADDICTION TO HOW GOOD IT FELT AFTER I LEARNED HOW TO WIN

I Know What It Feels Like!!

A Warriors Battle to Win…

BONDAGE:

I know what it feels like to be in the dark and see no light anywhere.

I know what it’s like to not be able to escape the insulting voices in your head.

I know what it feels like to not want to do anything but cry because you don’t know what else to do.

I know what it’s like to hate yourself.

I know what it’s like to wonder why you should even try because a voice in your head will immediately not allow you to enjoy it or even handle it…you’re just too big of a loser.

I know what it feels like to hear satan and his demons laughing at you because you’re so helplessly stuck in their power.

I know what it’s like to not have any control or stability whatsoever in your life.

I know what it feels like to think about ways to kill yourself so you can end all this crap.

I know how it is when the only way to cope with the pain is to purposefully dump deviant chemicals into your system to numb yourself.

I know how it feels to wonder what other excuse to use when the next person asks you “what’s wrong?”, or “Can you come to the temple?”, or “Can you help with the sacrament today?” or “Have you got your mission papers started?” or “shouldn’t you be on a mission?” … “Aren’t you 19 already?”

I know what it feels like to again shake your head “No” to the sacrament tray and wonder who notices you not taking it every week.

I know what it’s like to wonder how you got in this hole, and how are you ever going to get out.

I know what it’s like to doubt everything you once believed.

I know what it feels like to have so many voices in your head and you don’t know which one is the truth. 

FREEDOM:

I know what it’s like to use warrior chemistry and tell satan to go play in traffic.

I know what it feels like to have power over satan

I know what it’s like to be in control of my life and my thoughts and my feelings and not let some old man influence me.

I know how it is to snipe satan from 300 yards away at the slightest movement he makes in my direction.

I know what it’s like to feel the spirit cleanse me from all the wrong that I’ve done.

I know how it is 5 minutes after losing a battle to know that I am still the man and can look ahead with hope and strength.

I know what it feels like to have the Atonement of Jesus Christ work on my heart and change my desires to what he would have them be.

I know what it’s like to be so confident and happy that my cheeks hurt form smiling so much.

I know what it’s like to experience the most ecstatic joy I’ve ever felt in my life.

I know what it feels like to know that whatever happens today, whatever trial comes my way, I can handle it.

I know how it is to wonder why satan even tries to tempt me, it’s worthless.

I know what it feels like to fist bump with God.

I know what it’s like to talk to a girl and allow myself to just soak in the joy.

I know what it’s like to walk through the mall and have girls check me out, and not even think twice about it.

I know what it’s like to talk to a girl and have a voice in your head tell me; “You’re such a stud.”

I know what it’s like to be prompted by the spirit to talk to someone that needs MY help.

I know how it feels to talk with your Father in Heaven.

by Parker